Bring on the chainsaws fucker!!

Recently, I spotted a phishead in a maple tree outside my palatial spread here in MA. I called upon my followers to "BRING ON THE CHAINSAWS!!!" we proceeded to cut the tree into quarters. Under Torts of intent am I guilty of a) battery b) assault c) just being an ass. Fortunatly, Phish played their very last show ever...( Whew & Huzzah!!!) last week in Vermont so I will never be faced with this problem again.