WhiskeyDick

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2004-12-01T08:55:00.000-08:00

As short as they played, Mission of Burma rocked the Mullen center last night. Set list included That's how I escaped my certain fate, Wounded World, Thoughts are Reborn, Revolver, and Academy Fight song. Pixies were o.k. too. And now a word from the sponsor of Whiskey dick-

Tony Jewell, a spokesman for the Department of Health and Human Services Says: "It's a scientific fact that you will not get a sexually transmitted disease if you do not have sex."

I can only respond to that by saying 'You can't shit if ya don't eat.'

Whiskey Dick also says on World AIDS day: 'Wrap it up fuckers, Just cuz your willie is soaked in Jim Beam doesn't a protective barrier make.'

Sad case about a man shot dead in Ohio

2004-11-11T16:24:00.000-08:00

I have a question about vicarious liability you might be able to help me with. (Otherwise I will have to send this question to Prof. Childs) I know that vicarious liability mostly concerns itself with Master to Servant, Employer to Employee relationships and how the actions of the junior ie: servant or employee are reflected on the senior ie: Employer or Master. My question has to do with Pusey v. Bator (the second case in the chapter) What is the status of Eric Bator, the security guard? I know the lower courts decided he was contracted by the Greif Brothers through YSP but what is his status level because of the work being contracted? Is he Eric the employee? Or Eric the employer? Or, because he is all alone on his security shift, does that make him servant Bator? or Master Bator?
Get back to me on that-PT

No recovery for plaintiff who witnessed dismemberment of her poodle by defendant's St. Bernard...

2004-10-28T20:21:00.000-07:00

I have discovered Satan roams amongst my fellow Law School classmates!! His house does not reek of sulfur and rotting flesh; it smells rather, like a urinal in the bathroom used by the shipping department at the Yankee Candle Factory. I know this because of study group sessions he has held at his apartment.
He revealed his true self in one of my torts classes last week. Apparently my study "buddy" watched a person choke to death in a posh Manhattan restaurant. Satan decided it was better for the person to choke rather than take on the possible liability of rendering life giving aid. You see, Satan is an EMT only he was not licensed in the state where the choking took place so he crouched down in his own filthy fear and watched a man die. Did I mention he is a Republican?
VOTE BUSH OUT!!!
I would rather see Anne Coulter complain for the next four years than to see her and Satan gloat.

I've been on a Vision Quest

2004-10-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

I have envisioned my death: I am involved in a swamp battle with insurmountable hordes of midget warriors attacking me me from all sides. Spears and blades are brandished as far as the eyes can see. I take out a good many of them with cunning and tenacity, a round house kick here, sweeping karate chops there and a few palm shots to nose cartliage. And yet I finally succumb. the final scene is one of fluorescent smoke, pond scum and blood. The most cowardly of the horde rips the bottle of Cactus Jack from my death grip and pours it on the breasts of his concubines. This vision has taken on new character in the past 24 hours. The concubines are none other than former Mtv hostess Kennedy and Christian pop singer Cheley. Of course Anne Coulter is flashing her sagging dried up meat spigots too, (particularly horrific imagery) hoping to catch some of the alcoholic spray.
Is this what the right wing has wrought upon us this night? The Boston Red Sox v. Yankees game surly trumps Scarborough Country but having a wad of has beens, no talents and rotting flesh eaters on to discuss the supposed re-institution of a draft is ridiculous. I'd rather be filling out disclosures concerning my great grand mother's sex life.

Contract Question

2004-10-12T14:16:00.000-07:00

When Darth Vader pointed out to Lando Calrissian that he was taking Leia and the Wookie off of Cloud City, did he break a contract by altering the bargin? With that in mind, read the following run down of the trailer for the next STAR WARS movie- Revenge of The Sith

SPOILER ACTION FOR EPISODE III-The first half of trailer consists of a familiar voice over with Alec Guinness. Fans will love to hear him speak his monologue to Luke from A New Hope about "Jedi Knights always being the guardians of peace." As we hear these familiar phrases, they've intercut shots from various Star Wars episodes, excluding Episode 3. Only when the monologue ends with "Vader was seduced by the dark side of the Force" about 40 seconds into the trailer do we see the face of Anakin. He is partly covered with dark hood, looking positively evil.

This is followed by the shot of erupting volcanoes, then some sort of volcanic field with crab-like creatures and then darkness, all accompanied by Vader breathing. Then the following is heard:

Sidious: "Lord Vader..."

Vader: "Yes?"

Sidious: "Rise."

Then we see Anakin in full Vader gear rising on some sort of operating table to which he is chained. The rising is slow and is intercut with shot of various Star Wars main characters. When the table has fully risen so that Vader is basically standing upright, the meatiest part of trailer begins, with many, many shots from Episode III. Most of them are very, very short - this will be something for freeze-frame fanatics to analyze.

The ones that stuck in my memory:

Dozens of Wookiees on some sort of floating platform.

Padme with signature Leia hairdo.

The Tri-Fighter, aka the precursor to the TIE fighter with three curving wings and guns mounted between each wing. They shoot red lasers.

The ARC Clonefigthter, aka the precursor to X-Wing, with three wings on each side.

A gigantic starship being sprayed by streams of something that looks like dense acid.

The trailer ends with the title "THE SAGA IS COMPLETE - MAY 2005"

A hypothetical for those nuts about assault!!

2004-09-29T20:25:00.000-07:00

My good buddy over at ironlemon posted this item about a Jimmy Eat World Heckler. I want you all to figure out if this is assault and if that litigous mother fucking bass player from Jimmy has a claim against Cooter. Cuz Fish Lips sure as hell didn't have a leg to stand on when he tried to get Tom Bernard thrown out of the house.

The ride back to the hotel was provided by a man named Randy Cooter, who told us the story of the development of his infamy. It seems he spent a good amount of time obsessively heckling, hounding and antagonizing the band Jimmy Eat World, to the point of getting letters from their lawyers and physical threats from the band members and fans. He also started rumors of the band's anti-Semitic nature, which he knew were not true, and organized protests at their shows. I am not doing his story justice here; this was no simple heckling, this was an intense assault. He gave me a check for $1 to give to Jim Adkins as an apology for any inconvenience.

Get to work, Children!!!

Intention and action

2004-09-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

Two elements of criminal offense are 1) the bad act coupled with 2) the guilty state of mind. Both must be present and of a person's own volition. There is also the crime of omission which is not acting when a person has a duty to act. That conversation for another time.
I do wish to raise a hypothetical for my learned collegues and lay folks out there: If I'm drinking a quart of Jack Daniels with the intention of kicking somebody's ass. Is that considered a criminal offense?

The Bard & the Bush Twins

2004-08-31T19:48:00.000-07:00

Did any of you just see the Bush twins speak at the RNC? I didn't know it was the fucking teen choice awards. Upon mentioning that they just graduated from college and would be looking for something to do in the next four years, I thought: Hell yes you both will be looking for something to do cuz the job market sucks donkey balls thanks to Daddy!!! Jenna sound like she just pulled a bong with Martina McBride and Barbara hinted at having the secret service protect her from all the pinkos at Yale. Who would wanna live in Connecticut anyway? Ladies, Get thee to a nunnery!

You be the judge.

2004-08-26T06:26:00.001-07:00

*Definition of Battery: Section 13 of Restatement of torts it is not enough that the act itself is intentionally done and this, even though the actor realizes or should realize that it contains a very grave risk of bringing about contact. Such realization may make the actors conduct negligent or even reckless but unless he understands to a substantial certainty the contact will result, the actor has not had the intention which is necessary to make him liable under the rule stated in this section.

Assault is defined as “an intentional threat or attempt, coupled with apparent ability, to do bodily harm to another, resulting in immediate apprehension of bodily harm. No bodily contact is necessary.”

Bring on the chainsaws fucker!!

2004-08-23T20:28:00.000-07:00

Recently, I spotted a phishead in a maple tree outside my palatial spread here in MA. I called upon my followers to "BRING ON THE CHAINSAWS!!!" we proceeded to cut the tree into quarters. Under Torts of intent am I guilty of a) battery b) assault c) just being an ass. Fortunatly, Phish played their very last show ever...( Whew & Huzzah!!!) last week in Vermont so I will never be faced with this problem again.

First week down!

2004-08-22T09:01:00.000-07:00

Lawschool students are a special breed who pull bullshit moves like hiding casebooks. Thus rendering them unvailable for others who still need to do the research. Or they spread rumors and assasinate another student's character. These actions are done to psych out the competition In other words, law school is full of assholes and I am no exception. With this spirit in mind I pulled a little assholic behavior myself this past week.
I befriended all of the students in my area and promised them a ride to school on the first day (The day the seating chart is made concrete) I went so far as to call them the night before to establish what time to pick them up. Of course, I never showed up, leaving those five people flustered and late on their first day. My seat in the front row firmly ensconsed, I sat in rapt attention. 45 minutes into the first class my would be passengers began to trickle in. While they were harried and thrown off, I was comfortable in the knowledge my career as a large hungry shark in a small ocean had commenced. Next...a lesson in Intentional Torts

Is it working?

2004-08-19T21:18:00.001-07:00

La la la la
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PT's world...